I have been doing some internet searching for sites on Children’s Ministry. I have found a lot in the UK for Youth Ministry- all worthy, but I feel there is a HUGE gap for the ages from birth till they reach teens.I can see the need for Youth Ministry: teens are turning away from churches, maybe missing  the very Message that could help guide them through any trials they encounter.

I would love to see Children’s Ministry be as important- I know young children are in the care of their parents and maybe there is less guidance for them, but what about having a strong FAMILY MINISTRY movement to help, working with families in partnership with Christ?

Maybe such a movement exists here in the UK- maybe I have missed it?

I was helping out in Sunday school this week and our Vicar came in to talk to the children about communion. It has been decided the children can take communion but it is preferred they understand the significance of it. A little talk was given about the bread and the wine, about remembering Jesus. Each child had a turn taking a wafer and dipping it into the wine before eating it.

My daughters face was so funny, I guess Jesus would be laughing at the many children that just didn’t like the wine and laughing at those who spat out the interesting taste of the soggy wafer. LOL!

But it got me thinking about communion. How to really convey this to the children? How to explain the significance of the last supper, how Jesus must have felt knowing his time was near the end? How to help them experience the loss the disciples must have felt when he went. How to help them understand Jesus is still here today. How to help them remember Jesus- not just when taking that communion but all the time.

It made me remember the time when I was 11 and was confirmed, when I took Holy Communion and how very special it was to me then (and how it still is to me today at 34). I had gone off to a charity shop so I could buy a white dress, it was important for me to wear white, my mother didn’t understand this and we didn’t have the money. But God guided me and I found I white dress, I felt so loved by Him, so treasured when I went up to that altar all in white.

And in thinking these things it made me experience emotions attached to my taking communion. How there were times in my adulthood when I have felt so unworthy to take the communion and then how I have felt so healed when I did partake.

So is it the altar? Is it the prayers before? Is it that I feel alone at the altar at the foot of God when I take part in the accepting of Jesus? Is it because it feels so communal at Inspire? I need to ponder more on this and come to some answers…it is me, I know it is, but I need to know why.

Whilst looking for a video by the fantastic Josh Groban, I found this version. It makes me cry but is so beautiful, so enjoy it xxx

May you be blessed movie- share this beautiful film with everyone xxx

I still think about what my life would have been like had I have become a nun. But God had other ideas for me, I find myself married with 3 children and choosing to home educate. I looked into being an Oblate, but with trust and listening I knew that God was leading me elsewhere, at least for now.

I was drawn to books about Spirituality and motherhood. I read amazing books written by mothers who were living a very devoted and spiritual life and my heart told me that for this part of my life’s journey I was to focus on being a mother and serving God through my home life and my children. I realised that I could even take the parts of monastic life and use them in my home life. Sure the contemplation is harder when your little one is only 2 and you have had no sleep- but then I can see God in this. I can see God sitting there in the middle of the night holding my hand and my sons as he fought for breath. I prayed with Jesus to make me strong, to heal my little boy.

Amazing things happened to me. I took a now grown perspective of worshiping God and realised that I could do this wherever I was and whatever I was doing. It dawned on me with brilliance that God is there EVERY moment of my life and it is an amazing thing to know. It is not just about church on a Sunday- or church on any day, it is about being conscious that every moment of my life, every breath I take there is an opportunity to think what would Jesus do? What would God be wanting me to do right now?

I want my children to be able to experience the wonder that is my Lord. Not just the Sunday school moments, but in all moments. When we lie on the trampoline and listen to the birds sing, when we watch the swifts fly ahead over us, when we watch our ‘Batty’ fly through the garden, the miracle of Creation is there. When my toddler sits at the table and announces, ‘Can I just say a prayer?’ or when my 7 year old daughter offers a prayer to Madeleine that God look after her. When our friends daughter died when she was 3 and I spoke to my daughter J about where she had gone, I could reassure her. I could tell them about this wonderful God who was there always by our side and would always be.

You see for my children it is more than me reading the Bible to them, it is my role to help them experience God, to guide their hearts in Jesus’ way. I am realising the dry bones of church isn’t enough, I am reading and learning of new modern ways to interact with my children to help them learn more about God.

I am fascinated in children’s ministry. Not necessarily the youth/teen section- (though myself and my nearly 16 yr old daughter do have lots of chats about Christian life). I feel there are lots of active things going on for teens in youth ministry. But I ask myself- what is there for mothers? Who is there with the mothers supporting them on their journey as they raise young Christians?

My mission at present is twofold. Firstly to find fresh ways of interacting with young children to help facilitate their experience of God. The other is to connect with adults/mothers who are interested in this too, to build a support network, to help myself and others develop the fine delicate balance between our own worship, our home making and our children in order to have the richness of life that God designed for us.

I adore children. I see in them the innocence that God created in us all. I see it in the angry boy in the park whose life experience so far has denied him the Love that is there for him. I see it in the child smiling into her mothers eyes. I see it in the hurt lost teens hanging out on the street corners, indirectly looking to be seen, to be loved. The Love is there, but the way has not always been shown. As mothers we have an enormous power to shine our light on the path to that Love, both for our own children and for all those other children out there. Jesus was surrounded by children, let us surround ourselves with children and heal each other in Jesus’ name.

This is where I am at right now xxx

I have always felt close to Jesus. As a child, he was magical to me and I adored him. I lived through an abusive childhood where I feared for my life everyday and my Lord was there with me everyday giving me someone to hold on to, someone who encouraged me to have hope, to never give up, to survive.

My first experiences of church were not great. I attended Sunday school which I loved, but I was bullied there every week. But the Lord’s love managed to shine through even there. My school secretary helped out in Sunday school and she would tell me amazing things about how Jesus had achieved things in others lives. I never doubted Him.

I was a very quiet child and the idea of living in a monastery and devoting my life to God was what I wanted. I read up about old monastic orders, their routine, their rituals, their prayers and I tried to follow this at home. When I was 10 I confided to my secretary that I wanted to be a nun- I thought she of all people would understand my longing to be with God. Unfortunately she was very discouraging and told me I would be unable to do it. Disheartened I put that dream on the back burner and channeled my energies into a career working with the ill and trained as an Occupational Therapist.

When I was 10 I joined our church choir, they didn’t usually let children join that young, but they made an exception, How I loved wearing that cassock, I felt so at home. Shortly after that I joined as an altar girl. I loved helping out at the services, I particularly loved the 6-30am service and often volunteered to do it (they were often short on volunteers for this), I relished the quiet, the sanctity. I loved the psalms- the peace they invoked.

My church had no youth section and my mum stopped going to services when a new Vicar came, so I would go alone and sit right in the back corner quietly listening to wonderful sermons. Unfortunately when I was 12 we moved house, not far by car but it was outside our old parish. My mum went to our old church occasionally but didn’t look into the big local parish church St Matthews, she didn’t like change, she didn’t like new things and I was a very shy hurt teen who didn’t have the confidence to go to a new church. So I no longer attended.

I threw my time into studying hard in order to leave home and be free from an abusive place. God was still with me through this, my constant Stalwart. When I was 17, I faced my fear and went to St Matthews, where I met a wonderful kind old Vicar, he made me feel welcome, I was by far the youngest one there but it didn’t matter. When I was 18 things changed, I had a child and I had her baptised there when she was 6 weeks old, but attending the church became unbearable for me as the mother of my ex- partner was there and made me feel out of place now, she was very involved in the church and I was made to feel uncomfortable, I decided I didn’t want to be around these Christians any more. So although I wanted to stay at the church I left.

When I was 19 (1992) I tried to end my unbearable life, I was still at my family home and it was awful. I spent time in hospital and again God came shining through and gave me hope, strength to get through all the terrible things I had endured. I put on the admissions form I was a Christian and I was blessed to find my old Vicar from St Matthew’s came to visit me every week, hold my hand and pray with me. I felt a Light out of all the darkness calling me, wooing me on. That year I met my husband to be and felt loved by a human for the first time ever.

I rebuilt my life from strength to strength. I was given some housing and built my career. In 1996 I moved with my partner down South to start a whole new life. I never went to church -I had grown disheartened from my experiences of cruel, judgmental Christians.

In 2003 we had been living in our house for 3 years and I felt a real spiritual crisis. I knew if I was to survive I needed God more than ever, but I didn’t know where to turn. So I picked up my local village newsletter and called the local Vicar, I told him I was having a spiritual crisis and could I talk to him. He invited me round and listened. I thought maybe I could try the church here, maybe it will be alright.

So a few weeks later, I took courage and persuaded my husband who wasn’t a Christian at the time to come to church with me. IT FELT LIKE COMING HOME! I felt guided, blessed, and so pleased that the Lord had led me to this wonderful place.

I am still attending that wonderful church now every Sunday.

That is part of my story for now!

I thought I would start by saying what I hope to use my blog for before I give an introduction of myself.

Recently it has come to my attention that I just don’t have the forum where I can openly discuss things on my mind. Often things related to God/ Jesus and this path of Christianity and Motherhood that I walk. Sometimes I feel I want to be so close to God that I cry because I know I am not. I want to lie down at Jesus’ feet and weep.

I want to connect with other Christians, I want to share my experiences of being a member of an Anglican church. I want to tell you what I feel, what moves me, what I get from my church services.

I also read lots of books that relate to my Christian journey and I wanted to share my views on them.

So I realised if I have my own blog I can share all this with the wider world and connect with others who are on their own personal journey. So here I AM.

ENJOY AND GOD BLESS YOU XXXXX